The Clouds of Autumn

Growing up in a home where the dining room was regularly turned into a studio and the bathroom could on any given night be converted into a darkroom, I was aware of one constant whenever this time of year rolled around - my parents along with all the other camera people were nuts about the fall colour. Though I never understood all the fuss about taking all those pictures (my seven year old self would be shocked to learn I had become one of the camera people) I certainly didn't mind the outings to the country my sister and I would be dragged out to at this time of year. The world had a different sense to it than at other times of year, one that made even familiar places seem unexplored and the new places we sometimes went feel like visiting the settings I might imagine if I were caught up hearing a great story. What was different, who could say? If I had been introspective enough to ask myself back then I probably would have said the colours. That's what the camera people are going crazy for after all. It seems obvious enough doesn't it?

If so then, black and white guy that I am, Autumn should mean no more to me than the progressive loss of leaves from the trees and a withering of ground cover flora. And yet it isn't that. These days I pay a lot of attention to the sky for cues on where and when to head out with my camera and come this time of year something starts to change. Maybe it's the angle of light, the way clouds form as temperatures begin to drop, or some other phenomenon beyond my meager powers to recon, but no matter the cause it is gets the cogs in the photographic centres of my brain churning. Who knows, it could even be the psychological effect of feeling that first small chill in the air and knowing it means the summer has passed for good, and I'm fine with that even - my psychology is as indispensable to my photography as film and camera.

I first noticed this change a week or two ago, around the beginning of calendar Autumn. The leaves were still barely showing a change anywhere so I know that wasn't it. I can't say exactly what it was but there seemed to be something about the clouds, a quality I swear you'd never see in July. I'm not talking about a bland overcast mind you, but the rolling varied clouds that at this time of year somehow hang there with a new immediacy, the tangibility of their forms giving question to our notions of earth and sky as realms that must remain forever separate.

I don't see clouds like that every day, and though the leaves are reaching a stage of unmistakable change, when the sky is clear and the temperature hasn't dipped too low a trace of summer still lingers, but soon there will be no mistaking it with or without my clouds. The colours will be out in force as we come to the one time of year I feel compelled to do at least be prepared to shoot a bit of colour. Last year that took the form of dragging out the D80 DSLR for what will likely prove it's last hurrah as a tool for creative work. I don't know that the results were all that horrible, but in the immediate comarison with the satisfaction I felt between shooting with it versus my RB67 it did not fare well. As I was shooting, but even more so when I brought the results up on screen and began to tinker with them in Photohop the word I think best describes what I felt is 'hollow'. I don't know that the feeling had something to do with some quality of the images I brought back. I don't imagine I'll ever be able to put my finger on exactly what it was, just like I'll never put my finger on what it is about my Autumn clouds I love so much. It doesn't matter though, I don't have to put my finger on anything. Intangibles are no less real because we haven't explained them.

This year I have a different plan for Fall colour. The pro-pack of Kodak Portra 160 arrived this afternoon in fact along with the C-41 chemistry kit. I have no idea how that'll go. As usual though I'll keep you posted.